Lordy, Lordy, look who's 4T...

…but wears a size 5 dress and size 12 shoes. That’s right, Audrey turns 4 years old today. So, right now, there are purple flowers in the bath tub, a princess balloon the size of the refrigerator floating around the kitchen, and a very pink, ruffled, sparkly dress (that will be appropriate for no event and no situation ever) hanging in her closet. Her cake is pink with purple flowers on the frosting.

At birth, Audrey weighed 10 pounds and had a ton of hair that stuck straight up. She got many compliments on it, but she looked a bit like Zoolander and Rudy quietly assumed he would be her high school prom date. She’s come a long way since birth and is a beautiful, sensitive, sweet girl. She marches to her own beat and is very unique. I won’t post any birth pictures out of respect for my daughter, but here is an adorable one showing the hair:

She has trouble focusing on things except for maybe eating pasta or hummus or cake. She seems to be ambisinistrous, which means equally clumsy with either hand. (She gets this from me). Teachers will say she is ambidextrous, which is a kind way of saying she can’t write yet, except maybe a capital A, though I’m not even sure she knows it is the first letter of her name. When we take her on a bike ride, she will pedal exactly twice, then say, “Look, ants!” or “Will rain make the flowers grow?” Then she forgets how to pedal, and we must start over. She holds out the last word of each sentence so everything she says sounds like a whine. As an example, “Mom, I don’t liiiiike chocolate miiiillllk.” I know this isn’t unique to kids her age, but imagine this with every, single sentence.

Any sentence can take her up to 30 seconds to complete, and you need to the listen to the whole thing and not interrupt, or she will start it all over again. She gets very upset if she thinks I am not listening to her or if someone interrupts her, but with 4 kids I sometimes have to prioritize the questions from most serious to least serious, and at times hers are least serious. Rudy, home for a recent weekend, noticed she was crying and whining less. He said, hopefully, “I think she is growing out of this phase!” I had to crush him down by telling him that she’s crying less because I am walking on egg shells around her. In the car, we don’t listen to the radio just in case Audrey has something to say. Sam was sneezing the other day, and I had to send him to another room because I thought Audrey might be getting ready to speak. I usually can determine what she is going to say by the third word, but I’ve been holding back and waiting until she is done, then responding. Also, I am sure to respond within 1 second of her finishing the question because any longer than that and she will go into a crying fit. This fit looks like double jointed hands clenched into fists with arms straight down and shaking, her body straight like a surfboard, and her mouth screaming. Obviously, this type of attention cannot continue. I’m working with her on using her words instead of tears when she needs something or is frustrated. So far, she thinks this means she should laugh hysterically instead of crying hysterically. Both are equally disturbing.

Rudy is convinced that she takes after him and has a heightened sense of empathy. Ahem, ahem. I’m not quite so sure (for either of them). I mean she certainly has no empathy for my feelings after 3 hours of her crying. The other day, an elderly man was talking to her at the grocery store because he thought she was adorable, and she rewarded him by saying, “I’m sorry you’re old and are going to die soon.” And she really was sorry. She also loves the show “Wow, Wow, Wubbzy,” but is particularly obsessed with the episodes where Walden gets sick and Widget gets the bluey blues. If the Bruno Mars song “Locked Out of Heaven” comes on the radio, she asks me to change it because she can’t bear the lyrics. Honestly, some of Taylor Swift’s songs are just too much for her.

I researched the possibility of someone being highly empathetic, and it seems this does happen. Often these people become psychics and mediums. She does have an odd affection for bugs, birds, and lizards. I can see it now – Audrey making a special appearance on Ellen DeGeneres as a pet psychic. I’ll be so proud.

How truly grateful I am to have Audrey. She probably tells me 20 times a day that she loves me, and gives us all so much affection and “nuzzles” as she calls them. I have learned a lot about patience and parenting from this kid, and she has made us laugh so much. (Usually the laughter comes about 3 days after the tears). Happy Birthday, Audrey!

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